Dating over age 40

The chalenges and tips for dating over 40

The following article about 40plus Dating Written for match.com

 by Author Theo Pauline Nestor who wrote How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over cuts right to the heart of where many over forty and wanting to have a dating life women find themselves. She pulls no punches this is a real challenge but a challenge with solutions. If this rings a bell with you read on. Even if you do not feel comfortable with the prospect of meeting someone dive right into 40plus Dating tomorrow is a brighter day.
What I’ve learned from dating after 40
40plus dating

By Theo Pauline Nestor
I somehow skipped dating in my teens and twenties. It was the 70s and then it was the 80s. We hung out, more than dated — and then sometimes the hanging out morphed into relationships. But a lot of times, it just morphed into listening to bad Neil Young albums and another round of Yahtzee. Married at 30 and then divorced at 42, I arrived at middle age no more prepared to date than a 14-year-old schoolgirl. But there I was, a schoolgirl with crow’s feet, a mortgage and two kids — heading out into the dating world.

That was years ago. Since then, I’ve had some disappointments, a lot more fun than I ever expected, a few very late nights, some long talks, a couple of promising relationships and finally a relationship that held more than promise, but through it all, I’ve learned a lot — about myself and about dating in the Middle Ages, or at least, in my middle age. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned.

At fortysomething, you have it “going on” more than you think
I wasted a lot of my youth. First, when I was in my early twenties and supposedly at the height of my powers of attraction, I was weighed down by about 20 extra pounds and a rock-bottom image of who I was as a person. Then I lost the weight (but not the low self-esteem) and spent about half a decade embroiled in a tragic, long-distance relationship that always seemed really tempting when we were hundreds of miles apart and then a monstrous mess when we were in the same city for more than 24 hours. Then, after that, I finished out my twenties in a city where 75 percent of the adult males were only interested in other men.

By the time I was divorced, my youth was over and so, I figured, were the years — if there ever were any — when men would find me attractive. I was pretty much a stay-at-home mom at the time whose idea of dressing up was probably a sweatshirt that didn’t have a stain trailing down the front. But while I’d grown older and my wardrobe had grown shabbier, I’d also sprouted a semblance of self-esteem and confidence and — I’m not saying this to brag, just sharing information with readers who may need it — apparently this shiny self-esteem stuff seemed to count for more than youth ever did because, oddly, men were more interested in me than they had been when I was in my twenties.

The first man to ask me out after my divorce was about seven years younger than me and handsome almost to a fault. We went out once, and while there was frankly nothing between us, the impact on my sense of self was tremendous. I was stopping in mirrors to give myself a nod. I got a couple of manicures and decided to change my hair and drop the sweats-only wardrobe.

Again, my point here is not to say I’m “all that,” but merely to say that if you are — as I was — someone whose self-image convinces you that you’re invisible on a good day, you might be surprised to learn that the hard-earned qualities you’ve gained over the years just might have made you more attractive. Sure, you may not have morphed into Beyonce, but to at least one crucial group of people you’re suddenly a prospect: others you find attractive and with whom you have something in common.

Adults (generally speaking) are looking for adult relationships
In my twenties, it seemed like relationships were this elusive thing that I was trying to get into and every male I met was trying to evade. Maybe there were lots of guys out there looking for a relationship but I felt drawn to the ones who wanted things to stay “casual” — and with time and practice, I learned to hide the fact that I wanted to be in a relationship at all. I tried to be cool and casual, but deep down, I was quite the opposite.

One thing I noticed right away about dating in my forties is that the men I met actually wanted to be in relationships. Frankly, at this age, it’s not fun just to date endlessly — you can’t stay up late because you’ll be insanely exhausted the next day, you might have babysitter issues to deal with and most of us are running the engines of our careers and pouring most of our money into mortgages. Generally, people in their forties want to meet someone so they can stop dating and hunker down on the sofa for the latest episode of Mad Men with someone who’ll pass the popcorn with a kiss. Let’s face it: We — the mid-lifers — are often too tired to go out. It doesn’t mean we want our lives to be devoid of love, though.

After 40, you know who you are — so dating gets easier
By this age, you know how you like your steak, how you’re going to vote and whether or not you like opera. Yes, there will still be a few discoveries along the way (otherwise, check your pulse!) but for the most part, you know yourself by now. And the knowledge you’ve gained over the last four decades will help you quickly figure out who could be a match for you and who most definitely is not a good fit. Yes, we’re not 25 anymore. But maybe, just maybe, that’s a good thing.”
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That last paragraph really sums it up. As I heard a famous motivational speaker say about starting over in business “you know a lot more that you knew when you started out the first time so get over your fear of failure knowing that you past experiences will help you”. Remember there is someone looking for someone just like you be yourself and dive in.

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&#83&#121&#110&#111&#112&#115&#105&#115: Written with hope, candor and a biting sense of &#104&#117&#109&#111&#114, Terri Lee Ryan utilizes &#104&#101&#114 life experiences &#97&#115 a platform in, Life Is One Big To-Do &#76&#105&#115&#116: A Woman’s &#76&#105&#102&#101 After &#52&#48. &#79&#102&#102&#101&#114&#105&#110&#103 &#97&#100&#118&#105&#99&#101 and &#115&#111&#108&#97&#99&#101 &#105&#110 &#100&#101&#97&#108&#105&#110&#103 with women’s &#100&#97&#105&#108&#121 &#116&#111&#45&#100&#111 &#108&#105&#115&#116&#115 &#226&#128&#147 including managing time-consuming mates, needy &#112&#97&#114&#101&#110&#116&#115, a demoralizing divorce, job lay-offs and &#116&#104&#101 aging &#112&#114&#111&#99&#101&#115&#115 – &#115&#104&#101 urges women &#116&#111 start living for themselves, not &#102&#111&#114 others. Ryan &#115&#104&#97&#114&#101&#115 her life and &#111&#116&#104&#101&#114 &#119&#111&#109&#101&#110&#226&#128&#153&#115 lives at an age when &#116&#104&#101&#105&#114 &#104&#111&#114&#109&#111&#110&#101&#115 &#97&#114&#101 diminishing &#102&#97&#115&#116&#101&#114 than &#116&#104&#101&#121 can take estrogen, their &#99&#97&#114&#101&#101&#114 options are dwindling, &#97&#110&#100 the cellulite on the backs of their legs is multiplying faster &#116&#104&#97&#110 a &#118&#105&#114&#117&#115! Ryan &#97&#100&#100&#114&#101&#115&#115&#101&#115 the small and the not-so-small daily challenges
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&#73&#110 He’s History, You’re Not: &#83&#117&#114&#118&#105&#118&#105&#110&#103 Divorce After 40, &#69&#114&#105&#99&#97 Manfred shares her own divorce experience, &#97&#115 well as &#116&#104&#101 advice of &#101&#120&#112&#101&#114&#116&#115, &#119&#105&#116&#104 specific &#115&#101&#99&#116&#105&#111&#110&#115 tailored to &#119&#111&#109&#101&#110 in their &#52&#48&#115, &#53&#48&#115, &#97&#110&#100 60s. Manfred was left for a younger woman in &#50&#48&#48&#51, &#97&#110&#100 eventually learned to both &#115&#117&#114&#118&#105&#118&#101 &#97&#110&#100 thrive.  After educating herself &#105&#110 the areas many &#119&#111&#109&#101&#110 have &#98&#97&#114&#101&#108&#121 even &#116&#104&#111&#117&#103&#104&#116 of when &#99&#111&#110&#115&#105&#100&#101&#114&#105&#110&#103 divorce, she is the &#107&#105&#110&#100 of girlfriend a woman needs when facing both menopause and &#116&#104&#101 trauma of divorce.  She can help save divorcees lots &#111&#102 anguish, and lots of cash. HE’S HISTORY, &#89&#79&#85&#226&#128&#153&#82&#69 NOT discusses &#104&#111&#119 &#116&#111:&#194&#183&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160 &#65&#118&#111&#105&#100 &#194&#147&#107&#105&#115&#115 &#111&#102 death” &#109&#97&#114&#114&#105&#97&#103&#101 counselors to determine if reconciliation is &#112&#111&#115&#115&#105&#98&#108&#101.&#194&#183&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160&#194&#160
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Filed under Dating over age 40 by on #

&#78&#111 one denies &#116&#104&#101 anguish &#111&#102 divorce at midlife, but the &#111&#110&#108&#105&#110&#101 dating that follows is the greatest shock &#111&#102 &#97&#108&#108. MATCHLESS &#105&#115 the memoir of a &#53&#48&#45&#115&#111&#109&#101&#116&#104&#105&#110&#103 woman seeking a meaningful &#114&#101&#108&#97&#116&#105&#111&#110&#115&#104&#105&#112 in the &#67&#121&#98&#101&#114 Age when &#116&#104&#101 click of a mouse is &#116&#104&#101 difference &#98&#101&#116&#119&#101&#101&#110 deletion and forever. &#84&#104&#114&#111&#119&#110 into &#116&#104&#101 &#100&#97&#116&#105&#110&#103 world &#102&#111&#114 &#116&#104&#101 first time since &#87&#97&#116&#101&#114&#103&#97&#116&#101 and Patty &#72&#101&#97&#114&#115&#116, the &#97&#117&#116&#104&#111&#114 takes us &#111&#110 her &#106&#111&#117&#114&#110&#101&#121, introducing us &#116&#111 &#116&#104&#101 &#119&#111&#114&#108&#100 of Internet &#100&#97&#116&#105&#110&#103 including people &#108&#105&#107&#101 ImYourPleazer, &#82&#101&#101&#102&#101&#114&#77&#97&#103&#105&#99 and more. Unprepared for &#116&#104&#101 dating game &#111&#102 today when a new, younger “option” &#105&#115 only a click away, &#65&#110&#110&#101 shares the &#117&#112&#115 &#97&#110&#100 downs of flirtations and first dates, rejection and renewal. MATCHLESS will appeal to women &#110&#97&#118&#105&#103&#97&#116&#105&#110&#103 this alien world and
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Filed under Dating over age 40 by on #

How Not to &#83&#116&#97&#121 Single &#65&#102&#116&#101&#114 40 is a step-by-step program full of &#104&#101&#108&#112&#102&#117&#108 &#104&#105&#110&#116&#115, &#101&#120&#112&#108&#105&#99&#105&#116 &#103&#111&#97&#108&#45&#115&#101&#116&#116&#105&#110&#103 instructions, eye-opening anecdotes, and motivational thoughts specifically geared &#116&#111&#119&#97&#114&#100 women over &#102&#111&#114&#116&#121 who want to find lasting love. As relationship &#101&#120&#112&#101&#114&#116 Nita Tucker &#101&#120&#112&#108&#97&#105&#110&#115, “Women &#111&#118&#101&#114 forty think that dating is a very different &#101&#120&#112&#101&#114&#105&#101&#110&#99&#101&#45&#45&#119&#101&#108&#108, it &#105&#115! What most &#119&#111&#109&#101&#110 don’t &#114&#101&#97&#108&#105&#122&#101 is that &#104&#97&#118&#105&#110&#103 a relationship at this point &#105&#110 their lives can be &#114&#105&#99&#104&#101&#114, happier, and more fulfilling.” &#84&#104&#105&#115 results-oriented book teaches you that wanting a relationship &#105&#115 &#110&#111&#116&#104&#105&#110&#103 &#116&#111 be ashamed of, that staying &#105&#110 a &#100&#101&#97&#100&#45&#101&#110&#100 &#114&#101&#108&#97&#116&#105&#111&#110&#115&#104&#105&#112 will keep &#121&#111&#117 &#102&#114&#111&#109 finding a &#116&#104&#114&#105&#118&#105&#110&#103 &#111&#110&#101, &#116&#104&#97&#116 there are simple and effective ways &#116&#111 &#105&#110&#99&#114&#101&#97&#115&#101 the odds of meet
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Filed under Dating over age 40 by on #

&#72&#111&#119 &#78&#111&#116 to Stay Single After 40 &#105&#115 a step-by-step &#112&#114&#111&#103&#114&#97&#109 full of helpful &#104&#105&#110&#116&#115, &#101&#120&#112&#108&#105&#99&#105&#116 goal-setting instructions, eye-opening anecdotes, and motivational thoughts specifically geared toward women over forty who want to find lasting &#108&#111&#118&#101. As &#114&#101&#108&#97&#116&#105&#111&#110&#115&#104&#105&#112 expert &#78&#105&#116&#97 &#84&#117&#99&#107&#101&#114 &#101&#120&#112&#108&#97&#105&#110&#115, “&#87&#111&#109&#101&#110 over forty think that dating is a very different &#101&#120&#112&#101&#114&#105&#101&#110&#99&#101&#45&#45&#119&#101&#108&#108, it is! What &#109&#111&#115&#116 &#119&#111&#109&#101&#110 don’t realize is that having a relationship &#97&#116 this &#112&#111&#105&#110&#116 in &#116&#104&#101&#105&#114 lives can be richer, &#104&#97&#112&#112&#105&#101&#114, and &#109&#111&#114&#101 fulfilling.” This &#114&#101&#115&#117&#108&#116&#115&#45&#111&#114&#105&#101&#110&#116&#101&#100 book teaches &#121&#111&#117 that wanting a relationship is nothing to be &#97&#115&#104&#97&#109&#101&#100 &#111&#102, that staying in a dead-end relationship will &#107&#101&#101&#112 &#121&#111&#117 &#102&#114&#111&#109 finding a thriving one, &#116&#104&#97&#116 there are &#115&#105&#109&#112&#108&#101 and &#101&#102&#102&#101&#99&#116&#105&#118&#101 &#119&#97&#121&#115 &#116&#111 increase &#116&#104&#101 odds of mee
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Filed under Dating over age 40 by on #

&#68&#97&#116&#101 around with integrityPlaying the field is &#102&#114&#111&#119&#110&#101&#100 &#111&#110 in some &#99&#105&#114&#99&#108&#101&#115. There are definitely appropriate and inappropriate ways to &#100&#97&#116&#101 several men simultaneously.Knowing that the vast &#109&#97&#106&#111&#114&#105&#116&#121 &#111&#102 &#100&#97&#116&#101&#115 are &#111&#110&#108&#121 one or two-hit wonders, &#119&#104&#121 would &#121&#111&#117 limit your options by &#119&#97&#105&#116&#105&#110&#103 to &#109&#101&#101&#116 someone only &#116&#111 find out &#121&#111&#117&#226&#128&#153&#114&#101 not a match, then have to start the search from scratch? &#77&#101&#101&#116&#105&#110&#103 several men &#97&#116 &#111&#110&#99&#101 allows &#121&#111&#117&#114 pipeline to be full until it’s time to &#115&#101&#116&#116&#108&#101 on &#111&#110&#108&#121 one.”Multidating &#82&#101&#115&#112&#111&#110&#115&#105&#98&#108&#121: &#80&#108&#97&#121 the Field Without Being A Player” &#102&#111&#99&#117&#115&#101&#115 &#111&#110 how to &#100&#97&#116&#101 around responsibly and with &#105&#110&#116&#101&#103&#114&#105&#116&#121 without &#108&#101&#97&#100&#105&#110&#103 men on. If you &#100&#111 it with &#104&#111&#110&#101&#115&#116&#121, &#121&#111&#117 can date several people &#97&#116 &#111&#110&#99&#101 &#117&#110&#116&#105&#108 you’re both &#114&#101&#97&#100&#121 &#116&#111 focus only &#111&#110 each other.
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Filed under Dating over age 40 by on #

Yes, &#108&#111&#118&#101&#109&#97&#107&#105&#110&#103 does change after &#52&#48, but &#105&#116 is still &#116&#104&#101 most &#116&#104&#114&#105&#108&#108&#105&#110&#103 &#101&#120&#112&#101&#114&#105&#101&#110&#99&#101 two married people of the opposite sex &#99&#97&#110 experience on this &#101&#97&#114&#116&#104! In this practical, fun-to-read, &#105&#108&#108&#117&#115&#116&#114&#97&#116&#101&#100 guidebook, Tim and Beverly LaHaye cover a &#98&#114&#111&#97&#100 spectrum of key topics and show married couples how &#116&#111 &#101&#120&#112&#101&#114&#105&#101&#110&#99&#101 a more &#115&#97&#116&#105&#115&#102&#121&#105&#110&#103 and &#106&#111&#121&#45&#102&#105&#108&#108&#101&#100 &#115&#101&#120 life long &#97&#102&#116&#101&#114 age 40. Millions &#111&#102 &#109&#97&#114&#114&#105&#101&#100 &#99&#111&#117&#112&#108&#101&#115 have questions about sexual intimacy. Yet all too &#111&#102&#116&#101&#110, their questions go unasked . . . or unanswered. This easy-reading, medically sound &#98&#111&#111&#107 candidly addresses issues of &#105&#110&#116&#105&#109&#97&#99&#121. Does &#115&#101&#120&#117&#97&#108 desire actually reverse with aging? &#72&#111&#119 does &#109&#101&#110&#111&#112&#97&#117&#115&#101 &#97&#102&#102&#101&#99&#116 a woman’s sex &#100&#114&#105&#118&#101? How can exercise and &#110&#117&#116&#114&#105&#116&#105&#111&#110&#97&#108 supplements improve &#111&#117&#114 &#115&#101&#120 life?
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