40 Plus Dating Tips

40plus Dating Can Be fun

admin — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 00:49:10 +0000

The following article about 40plus Dating Written for match.com

by Author Theo Pauline Nestor who wrote How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over cuts right to the heart of where many over forty and wanting to have a dating life women find themselves. She pulls no punches this is a real challenge but a challenge with solutions. If this rings a bell with you read on. Even if you do not feel comfortable with the prospect of meeting someone dive right into 40plus Dating tomorrow is a brighter day.
“What I’ve learned from dating after 40
40plus dating

By Theo Pauline Nestor
I somehow skipped dating in my teens and twenties. It was the 70s and then it was the 80s. We hung out, more than dated — and then sometimes the hanging out morphed into relationships. But a lot of times, it just morphed into listening to bad Neil Young albums and another round of Yahtzee. Married at 30 and then divorced at 42, I arrived at middle age no more prepared to date than a 14-year-old schoolgirl. But there I was, a schoolgirl with crow’s feet, a mortgage and two kids — heading out into the dating world.

That was years ago. Since then, I’ve had some disappointments, a lot more fun than I ever expected, a few very late nights, some long talks, a couple of promising relationships and finally a relationship that held more than promise, but through it all, I’ve learned a lot — about myself and about dating in the Middle Ages, or at least, in my middle age. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned.

At fortysomething, you have it “going on” more than you think
I wasted a lot of my youth. First, when I was in my early twenties and supposedly at the height of my powers of attraction, I was weighed down by about 20 extra pounds and a rock-bottom image of who I was as a person. Then I lost the weight (but not the low self-esteem) and spent about half a decade embroiled in a tragic, long-distance relationship that always seemed really tempting when we were hundreds of miles apart and then a monstrous mess when we were in the same city for more than 24 hours. Then, after that, I finished out my twenties in a city where 75 percent of the adult males were only interested in other men.

By the time I was divorced, my youth was over and so, I figured, were the years — if there ever were any — when men would find me attractive. I was pretty much a stay-at-home mom at the time whose idea of dressing up was probably a sweatshirt that didn’t have a stain trailing down the front. But while I’d grown older and my wardrobe had grown shabbier, I’d also sprouted a semblance of self-esteem and confidence and — I’m not saying this to brag, just sharing information with readers who may need it — apparently this shiny self-esteem stuff seemed to count for more than youth ever did because, oddly, men were more interested in me than they had been when I was in my twenties.

The first man to ask me out after my divorce was about seven years younger than me and handsome almost to a fault. We went out once, and while there was frankly nothing between us, the impact on my sense of self was tremendous. I was stopping in mirrors to give myself a nod. I got a couple of manicures and decided to change my hair and drop the sweats-only wardrobe.

Again, my point here is not to say I’m “all that,” but merely to say that if you are — as I was — someone whose self-image convinces you that you’re invisible on a good day, you might be surprised to learn that the hard-earned qualities you’ve gained over the years just might have made you more attractive. Sure, you may not have morphed into Beyonce, but to at least one crucial group of people you’re suddenly a prospect: others you find attractive and with whom you have something in common.

Adults (generally speaking) are looking for adult relationships
In my twenties, it seemed like relationships were this elusive thing that I was trying to get into and every male I met was trying to evade. Maybe there were lots of guys out there looking for a relationship but I felt drawn to the ones who wanted things to stay “casual” — and with time and practice, I learned to hide the fact that I wanted to be in a relationship at all. I tried to be cool and casual, but deep down, I was quite the opposite.

One thing I noticed right away about dating in my forties is that the men I met actually wanted to be in relationships. Frankly, at this age, it’s not fun just to date endlessly — you can’t stay up late because you’ll be insanely exhausted the next day, you might have babysitter issues to deal with and most of us are running the engines of our careers and pouring most of our money into mortgages. Generally, people in their forties want to meet someone so they can stop dating and hunker down on the sofa for the latest episode of Mad Men with someone who’ll pass the popcorn with a kiss. Let’s face it: We — the mid-lifers — are often too tired to go out. It doesn’t mean we want our lives to be devoid of love, though.

After 40, you know who you are — so dating gets easier
By this age, you know how you like your steak, how you’re going to vote and whether or not you like opera. Yes, there will still be a few discoveries along the way (otherwise, check your pulse!) but for the most part, you know yourself by now. And the knowledge you’ve gained over the last four decades will help you quickly figure out who could be a match for you and who most definitely is not a good fit. Yes, we’re not 25 anymore. But maybe, just maybe, that’s a good thing.”
Try Match.com – 3 Days Free!
That last paragraph really sums it up. As I heard a famous motivational speaker say about starting over in business “you know a lot more that you knew when you started out the first time so get over your fear of failure knowing that you past experiences will help you”. Remember there is someone looking for someone just like you be yourself and dive in.

Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman

admin — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 16:44:40 +0000

A hard-hitting, groundbreaking exploration of the new mating conditions that are changing the face of love, commitment, and marriage as we know it.A double revolution is at work in modern American love: A revolution in higher education has created the most professionally accomplished and independent generation of young women in history, and a revolution in mating has created a prolonged and perplexing search for Mr. Right. Based on extensive research and interviews, Why There Are No Good Men Left explores the romantic plight of this high-status woman with findings that are sure to rouse debate.Cultural historian, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead documents the new social climate in which the demands of work, the epidemic of cohabitation, the disappea
Sale Price:

Bachelors: The Psychology of Men Who Haven’t Married

admin — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 16:44:39 +0000

An increasing number of Americans marry late or never at all. Today there are more than 3 million men who are at least 40 years old and have never been married. Waehler examines the myths surrounding bachelors, and he shows that stereotypes about never-married men are largely simplistic and inaccurate. Just as it would be impossible to make reliable statements about all people who have chosen to marry, the bachelor caricature falls short of reality. In this book, Waehler describes bachelors’ internal processes and interpersonal styles along a continuum with three specific bachelor types: Flexible, Entrenched, and Conflicted.Bachelors is the first and the only book to examine the inner workings of the bachelor mind. Waehler explores the psyc
Sale Price:

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams

admin — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 16:44:39 +0000

Bestselling author John T. Molloy delivers a groundbreaking book based on scientific research that shows women how they can improve their chances of getting married.John T. Molloy′s research has helped women get ahead in the corporate world for years. In fact, his methods have worked so well that many women began asking how to apply these same techniques to get ahead in their personal lives--specifically to find and marry Mr. Right. This book is the result of over 2000 interviews with married couples and over 1,800 unmarried men and women. Molloy′s remarkable study reveals: Ã¯ exactly what women need to do to make their boyfriends pop the question Ã¯ the top signs a relationship is bound for the altar–or bound for disaster ï how to identi
Sale Price:

Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men

admin — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 16:44:39 +0000

An erotic pillow book for women of a certain age.These are confessions, and Ilona Paris—and her cougar palsâ€”have plenty to confess. And they’re proud of it. A “cougar” is a woman in her forties (or so), who indulges in the pleasures of younger men in a quest for terrific sex without the hassles of a relationship. These women have been there, done that. In Hot Cougar Sex, their wild, sexy encounters are described with a brazen voice that seduces but never apologizes. Men appreciate a woman with some experience, a situation that makes a woman more confident, in bed and beyond. Salacious and sassy, Ilona Paris writes with a fearless confidence about her flings with men who are young enough to . . . keep pace with an adventurous older
Sale Price: