40 Plus Dating- Communicate Values Before Marriage

Men and women who are in the 40 plus dating group have many things in common with those who are younger when it comes to relationship issues.

40 plus dating or 20 plus dating couples alike need to consider this. A major thing is that all fail to communicate on issues that are ultimately very important to the success of a long-term relationship. These include, but are not limited to children, money, religion, and in some cases even politics. Now I know that no two people are going to agree on everything, but for a relationship to last there has to be some level of agreement on issues that are important to each person.

Blinded By Love even in The 40 Plus Dating Group

It’s very easy to be blinded by love when we think we have met our perfect potential partner. Things may be going so smoothly in your day to day interactions that you aren’t even aware of the potential conflicts that could result from very significant differences in your core beliefs. To avoid problems in the future have heart to heart talks and determine what you have in common and if compromise is possible on those where you differ.
Let’s look at three areas that most often cause tension and conflict in marriage: religion, children and money:
• Religion Those in the 40 plus dating range have most likely reached some conclusions on this subject. If religion is something that is very important to you, it is probably a good idea to marry someone with similar beliefs. This may not seem important before marriage but living with someone who has no interest in religion or one whose beliefs are totally different can be very difficult.

• Children If you are 40 plus dating you or your potential spouse may have children and they may still be living at home. If this is the case there must be agreement on child raising. Just because you love each other and want to be together doesn’t mean that the children regardless of their ages will be thrilled at this arrangement. Being a step-parent can bring on a whole new batch of stressors. On the other hand, young children as well as grown ones can be excited that the parent has found love and enjoy the new figure in the home.

Before saying “I do” be sure you are in agreement on how things with your children will be handled. Please don’t assume that everything will work itself out for the best. This rarely happens in any situation, especially one that involves children.

On a positive note: I have a friend who is 40 plus with a six year old who calls her step-dad “Honey.” With s little preparation and patience children can adapt and love as well as accept the step parent.

• Money This may be the most sensitive of the three issues if you plan to have joint money. If one of you likes to pinch every penny and the other likes to rack up the credit cards to the limit, you have some serious talking to do. If you don’t settle this issue it will be a constant source of stress between you.

Those who are 40 plus dating and considering marriage need to be sure how the finances will be handled.
Communicate before marriage on the above issues is important not only for those in the 4o plus dating range, but for all couples considering marriage.

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